This volume contains a large number of rude, crude, and socially unacceptable song lyrics, if you find these sorts of things offensive then please stop reading now, as the Hash House Harriers probably isn’t for you……….
If you are not among the easily offended and generally believe that political correctness needs to die a horrible death, please continue reading…….
These songs should be taken lightly as snarky, funny, and goofy adult fun……..on on.
He’s True Blue
Here’s to _____, he’s true blue.
He’s a hasher through and through,
He’s a pisspot so they say.
Tried to get to heaven,
But he went the other way.
Drinking down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down,
Down, down, down, down.
(Continue or go to “Why Are We Waiting”)
Take It In Your Hand Mrs. Murphy
Take it in your hand Mrs. Murphy,
It only weighs a quarter of a pound, (half a pound!)
It’s got hair on its neck like a turkey,
And it comes when you jerk it up and
Down, down, down, down…
You’re Stupid, You’re Stupid
You’re stupid, you’re stupid,
You’re stupid and dumb,
If it wasn’t for you’re mother,
You’d just be a pile of cum!
Here’s To All The Harriettes
Melody – Looney Tunes Theme
Here’s to all the Harriettes,
They’re always freakin’ bitchin’,
So drink your beer, get out of here,
And get back in the kitchen!
Twenty toes
Here’s to the game of twenty toes
It’s played all over town
The women play with ten toes up
And the men with ten toes
Down, down, down, down…
Meet the Hashers
Hashers, meet the hashers
They’re the biggest drunks in history
From the hash of Coffs Harbour
They’re the leaders in debauchery
Half-wits, running trails throughout the years
Watch them, as they down a lot of beer
Down-down, down-down-down-down.
Here’s To Fellow Hashers
Melody – Ach, Du Lieber Augustin
Here’s to fellow hashers,
Fellow hashers, fellow hashers,
Here’s to fellow hashers,
May they chug-a-lug.
They’re happy, they’re jolly,
They’re fucked up by golly,
Here’s to fellow hashers,
May they chug-a-lug.
So drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers.
HE WANKS HIS CRANK
He wanks his crank in the morning,
He wanks his crank in the night,
He wanks his crank with his left hand,
And he cleans it up with his right.
Do Re Mi
Dough, the stuff that buys me beer
Ray, the guy who serves me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long long way for beer
So, I’ll have another beer
La, la la la la la beer
Tea, no thanks I’m drinking beer
Which brings us back to
Down, down, down down.
She Sucked
She sucked on his cock all night,
She sucked on his cock all day,
She’s still be sucking his cock,
If she hadn’t choked and passed away.
Swollow it down, down ,down, down…
Her Left Tit
Her left tit hangs down to her right tit
Her right tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit did equal her right tit
She’d still get a down-down from me
Drink it down, down, down, down…
His One Skin
His one skin hangs down to his two skin
His two skin hangs down to his three
His three skin hangs down to his foreskin
His foreskin hangs down to his knee.
So roll back, roll back
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me
Roll back, roll back
Roll back my foreskin for me.
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Soldier Song
Asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be
To piss, to piss, two pistols on my knee
For cunt, for cunt, for country and my queen
Asshole, asshole, asshole, asshole, a soldier I will be
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Mlah Mlah Mlah Mlah
Melody – Side by Side
Put you left leg over my shoulder
Put your right leg over my shoulder
Mlah mlah mlah mlah, Mlah mlah mlah mlah, Mlah mlah mlah!
Put your left tit over my shoulder,
Put your right tit over my shoulder,
Brr brr brr brr, Brr brr brr brr, Brr brr brr!
Drink it down, down, down, down…
Why Are We Waiting(To: Oh, Come All Ye Faithful)
Why are we waiting,
Could be masturbating,
Oh, why are we wa-ai-ting,
So fuck-ing long.
Why are we wait-ing,
Could be fornicating,
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing?
Oh, why-y are we wait-ing,
So fucking long!
This is your little down down song
This is your little down down song,
It isn’t very long.
Drink it down, down, down…
Hashers, Meet The Hashers
(To the tune of “Meet The Flinstones”)
Hashers, meet the hashers,
We’re the biggest drunks in history,
From the town of Coffs Harbour
We’re the leaders in debauchery.
Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,
Watch us as we drink a lot of beers,
Down down
Down down down down
Down down down down down down down down
Down down down down down
Down down down down down down.
Beer
Well we try them all and it might sound queer
But our favorite drug is an ice-cold beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
Beer, beer, beer, beer
We love beer
Drink it down, down, down, down…
All Beers Bright and Beautiful
All beers bright and beautiful
All down-downs great and small
All ales pale with hops a-full
You’re going to drink them all
Each little bottle opened
Each bitter tasty zing
You will guzzle down the lot
And then we shan’t have to sing
Drink it down, down, down, down…
(Bollox)
Where Were You?
Where, where were you last week?
Why did you make us hash all alone?
You fat, lazy bastards, you weren’t even here
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer
Down, down, drink it all down
Drink it all down, drink all of that beer
You fat, lazy bastards, you weren’t even here
So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the beer
Hare’s Song
(Tune – The Ashgrove)
And the hairs, and the hairs,
And the hairs on her dicky di do
Hung down to her knee.
One black one, one white one,
And one with a bit of shite on,
And one with a fairy light on
To show us the way.
Why Was He Born So Beautiful?
Why was he born so beautiful?
Why was he born at all?
He’s no fucking use to anyone,
He’s no fucking use at all?
They Ought To Be Publicly Pissed On
(Tune – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean)
They ought to be publicly pissed on,
They ought to be publicly shot,(Bang, Bang)
They ought to be tied to a Urinal
And left there to fester and rot.
Drink it down, down, down…
Wings Of An Eagle
If I had the wings of an eagle,
If I had the wings of a crow,
I’d fly above all the treetops,
And shit on the hashers below.
Shit on, shit on,
I’d shit on the hashers below, below.
Shit on, shit on,
I’d shit on the hashers below.
What A (Wank)
(Tune – William Tell Overture)
What a wank, what a wank, What a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, What a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank, what a wank, What a wank, wank, wank,
What a wank,
What a wank, wank, wank.
Balls/Tits Hang Low
(Tune – Sailor’s Hornpipe)
Do your balls hang low,
Can you swing ‘em to and fro?
Can you tie them in a knot;
Can you tie them in a bow?
Do you get a funny feeling
When you bounce them of the ceiling?
Can you do the double shuffle
When your balls hang low?
Horse’s Penis
He’s the meanest,
He sucks the horse’s penis.
He’s the meanest,
He’s the horse’s arse.
Ever since he found it,
All he does is pound it.
He’s the meanest,
He’s the horse’s arse.
International Hash Hymn
(Tune – Swing Low, Sweet Chariot)
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home,
Swing low, sweet chariot,
Coming for to carry me home.
I looked over Jordan
And what did I see?
Coming for to carry me home,
A band of Angels, coming after me,
Coming for to carry me home.
If you get there, before I do,
Coming for to carry me home,
Tell all my friends
That I’ll be cumming too,
Coming for to carry me home.
Sometimes I’m up,
Sometimes I’m down,
Coming for to carry me home,
But I know, my soul, is heaven bound,
Coming for to carry me home.
Shitty Trail
(To the tune of “The Mickey Mouse Club”)
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Shitty trail (It sucked!).
Shitty trail (really fucked!).
The motherfuckers laid a shitty trail (shitty trail!)
I would rather drink a beer,
Than hash your shitty trail.
S-H-I-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L
Drink it down, down, down…
We’ve Got Virgins
(To the tune of “Frere Jacques”)
We’ve got virgins,
We’ve got virgins,
At our hash,
At our hash,
Gonna get’em drunked up,
Gonna get’em fucked up,
Down the hatch,
Up the ass
Drink it down, down, down . . .
Bullshit
Melody – My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean
Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me,
Bull-shit, bull-shit,
It all sounds like bullshit to me!
Notes: This song is especially applicable whenever somebody tries to defend himself or herself from an accusation – there is no defense for accusations, get over it.
Down Down Down Your Beer
Melody – Row, Row, Row Your Boat
Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no cum this time.
He’s the Meanest
Here’s to Brother Hasher
For Harriets:
Has Anyone Seen My Cock
Melody – Itself
Has anyone seen my cock?
My big Rhode Island Red?
It’s mostly pink, with streaks of blue,
And purple round his head,
It likes to stand at attention,
And give my wife a shock.
Has anybody seen,
Has anybody seen,
Has anybody seen my cock?
He Wanks His Crank
Melody – Itself
He wanks his crank in the morning,
He wanks his crank in the night,
He wanks his crank with his left hand,
And he cleans it up with his right.
Its A Small Dick
Melody – It’s a Small World
Well it isn’t long and it isn’t think,
It gets hard too slow and it cums too quick,
It gets lost in her twat but it’s all that he’s got,
It’s a small, small dick.
It’s a small dick after all,
It’s a small dick after all,
Always limp from alcohol,
It’s a small, small dick!
Variant: The line “Impotent from alcohol” is sometimes used instead of the line “Always limp from alcohol” and a finger gesture is sometimes given to imitate a wilting phallus.
Why Was She Born So Beautiful
Melody – Itself
Why was she born so beautiful?
Why was she born at all?
She’s no fucking use to anyone,
She’s no fucking use at all.
She’s may be a joy to her mother,
But she’s a pain in the asshole to me!
Actions: It is not uncommon for one or more hashers (particularly Happy Ass Grabber) to moon the accused during the final line, so be prepared.
Shitty Trail
(To the tune of “The Mickey Mouse Club”)
We’ve Got Virgins
(To the tune of “Frere Jacques”)
This is your little down down song
They Ought to be Publicly Pissed On
(To the tune of “My Bonnie”)
His One Skin
(To the tune of “My Bonnie”)
Her Left Tit
(To the tune of “My Bonnie”)
What a Wank
(To the tune of “The William Tell Overture”)
Birthday Song
Hashy birthday, fuck you,
Hashy birthday, fuck you.
Hashy birthday, fuck youuu,
Hashy birthday, fuck you.
(You fucking fuuuuuuuuck!)
Drink it down, down, down, down…
He’s the Meanest
He’s the meanest!
He sucks the horse’s penis.
He’s the meanest,
He’s the horse’s ass.
Ever since he found it (hey!),
All he does is pound it (hey!).
He’s the meanest!
He’s the horse’s ass.
So, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink motherfucker, drink!
You Are My Hash Shit
You are my hash shit, my only hash shit
You make me happy when skies are gray
You never no dear how much I love you
Please don’t take my hash shit away
Drink it down, down, down, down…
She’s All Right
She’s all right, she’s all right,
She’s little bit flat-chested, but she’s all right
I Like Hashing
I like hashing,
I like hashing,
Hashings fun,
Hashings fun.
Fill up all the hash mugs,
Fill up all the hash mugs,
One by one,
One by one.
Drink it down, down, down, down…
HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FUCK YOU
Melody – Happy Birthday to You
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, fuck you,
Happy birthday, you asshole,
Happy birthday, fuck you.